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This path is for people with thicker skins, of which I did not have until I had been playing the game for a bit longer. I don’t think the first way is dishonest and I don’t think either way is necessarily better than the other, but it’s a decision we have to make and there’s a strategy behind both approaches.
Dating with a disability can be filed under exhausting, but I think that’s the case with able-bodied dating as well, so we’re not alone.
My chair is a little bit of a stick in the mud in regards to my being attractive, so it’s okay if it’s not featured on my profile, right?
Unfortunately, wrong; I overestimate people, I guess.
However, for us with a disability, it can feel impossible. Unseen disability, on the other hand, can be hidden and, depending on its prominence, there’s a chance for assumed normalcy among peers.
My experience is all using Bumble, a popular dating app among both younger and sometimes older generations. After some hesitation, I downloaded the app and set my age range to ten years surrounding mine, my proximity to ten miles surrounding me, uploaded pictures of myself I thought were flattering and started swiping. Skipping forward about one month, I went on more first dates than I could count on two hands, and as many second dates as I could count on two fingers.
The only downside of exposing my disability so early on is a potential loss of suiter a little earlier on, but it’s a pretty solid weed-out.
Maybe I missed out on some free dinners and conversation, but the trade-off seemed worth it.
In the days of research for my second book, Date Me, I went Undercover at first unintentionally, then because I didn’t mind the bad first dates; I wanted to experience it all.
It was a fun season and I got the opportunity to be entertained and very social, but it wore me down.