Dating personality disorder
And if there’s any condition that really drives this home, it’s Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which takes the shittiest parts of being mentally unwell and runs a marathon with them.
If you’re looking for a condition that blends anxiety, depression, OCD, disordered eating, anger issues, and more into the world’s least appealing smoothie, BPD is for you.
He leaves anyway and, after a good cry, my emotions suddenly shut down. I don’t even know if these offenses are real or imagined anymore — I’m sure it’s a combination of both. I’m guessing therapy’s a good start, maybe some medication.
All I know is that anger is my underlying defense mechanism, and that’s not good. *weary shrug*Honestly though, sometimes I’m not even sure I want to “get better.” Sometimes I convince myself all I want to do is ghost everyone and hide in my house for the rest of my life.
Let’s just say I’ve attempted the whole dating thing more than a few times, but my relationships all seem to end the same way (I’ll give you a hint, I’m still single).That’s the thing about my BPD, though — I can’t hide from the loneliness.Eventually, even the rage will succumb to it, and I’ll start looking for love again, desperately.His cute little gestures produce only temporary bliss on my part.No matter what he does, I’m officially positive that he’s going to leave, and it feels unbearable. I’m pleasant, bubbly, overbearingly validating — because that’s what I want from the relationship: validation, confidence, safety.