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but I’ve heard that said about LOTS of things I’ve gone on to learn or teach, and I’d be surprised if this is any different.I’ve never tried to teach this before because I didn’t really know to teach it...• We avoid eye contact in elevators, subways, crowded buses or trains - in elevators we face the door, in the others we stare at our Smartphones - because it helps us manage the insecurity of having our personal space invaded.Waiters may avoid eye contact to send customers the signal, “I’m too busy to deal with you right now.” Employees often keep their eyes down when the boss appears with a tricky question or looks like he’s going to ask for volunteers.

• We increase eye contact when dealing with people we like, admire, or who have power over us.Eye contact is so powerful a force because it is connected with humans’ earliest survival patterns.Whether it’s shifty-eyed guilt or wide-eyed innocence, we automatically assign enormous credence to the signals we give and get when we look into each other in the eyes.This is one of those things that can be extremely effective wielded properly – it can shoot through the roof, make you physically intimidating even to men twice your size, and communicate “I mean business” to anyone and everyone like nothing else really can (although it can also send you directly to creepy guy land if you aren’t careful how you deploy it).Early on in life, I learned that not everyone had this ability – in fact, few did.

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